Headmistress Issues Warnings Over Continuing Pranks

The prank war continues to wage at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, even after students were injured. “It had gotten quiet around the castle in the last few weeks,” quotes a 6th-year Ravenclaw student. “I guess the pranksters decided it was time to strike again.”

It had indeed been quiet in the castle, a very welcomed turn of events by the staff. Hogwarts has always had a handful of students each year create their fair share of rouacus, but this year has proven to be much different. According to sources inside the school, the previously reported stories weren’t even the tip of the iceberg. Readers will remember, after the Christmas holiday ended and students returned to school, we released the story of the slinkies that were set about the castle and made to descend the many staircases. This was a spectacle in itself, as the muggle toy delightfully mesmerizes children with its paradoxical simplicity and intricacy. Since many young witches and wizards had never heard of them before, let’s just say they got everyone's attention.

Our inside sources have recently let slip that several other large pranks were orchestrated before the holiday break throughout the castle. Coats of armor were charmed, causing them to move about the castle on their own. The owlery was flooded with mice one Saturday afternoon, making it nearly impossible to visit the tower, let alone getting a letter sent. Someone even jinxed the toilets in the boys bathroom on the 3rd floor to give what is called “a swirly” to students at random when they enter. For those readers who are unfamiliar with the term, a swirly is a rather nasty prank where someone sticks another person’s head in the toilet while it flushes. The jinx that was used actually causes the water to rise from the toilet bowl and attach itself to the head of the person who just flushed.

Following their recent break in devious behaviors, the pranksters have upped their game by charming the paintings in the castle. It has not been confirmed if all of the art has been affected, but we have it on good authority that at least 50% of the paintings in the castle have been bewitched to speak foreign languages.

This has caused chaos to many students attempting to gain access to corridors and dormitories that require passwords and the answering of riddles. “The Hogwarts staff has been working well into the night trying to counter-jinx each portrait,” sighed an exasperated Headmistress earlier today who was later witnessed in The Great Hall giving a special announcement at dinner time. She made a somewhat ominous appeal to her students. “I want to take a moment to appeal to those students who are involved in this insanity: End this right now, and I will overlook the previous indiscretions once your identities have been uncovered. But, take heed. If you continue with this… frivolity, the punishment you receive shall be quite severe.”

But, will this be the end of the chaos in the castle? Only time will tell.


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