Year: 2019

Dementor Sightings Terrifying Britain

Written by TTYaYa on February 2, 2019. Posted in Bad News, Magical News. 3 Comments on Dementor Sightings Terrifying Britain

Dementors have been spotted at an alarming rate in the last several weeks. Officials from the Department of Magical Creatures are just as baffled by their surprising appearances as of late. On Friday, as many as three dementors were spotted near The Leaky Cauldron in London, and two were seen in Knockturn Alley over the weekend. Residents as far as Kent have also reported dementor sightings.

As most of our readers know, dementors were removed from their employ at Azkaban Prison after the second wizarding war after their allegiances changed and they began doing the bidding of Dark Witches and Wizards.

Officials stated that they are looking into the issue after the first sighting was reported and they characterized it as a “one time occurrence.” However the rising number of sightings shows that it is anything but. Officials from St. Mungos remind everyone to be vigilant and to leave the area immediately if they notice their surroundings becoming cold, and their emotions going dark. Healer Atticus Bratton stated earlier today, “They don’t care who you are, if you cross their path and they feel the need, they will preform their kiss on you. At that point, there is nothing that can be done for you.”

It is recommended not to travel alone at this time. If you find yourself in the vicinity of a dementor you are advised to use the patronus charm to stop a dementor attack and allow yourself the opportunity to flee. If you are affected by the torments of a dementor attack, chocolate is an excellent way to restore your body to its normal state.

Quidditch Players Pitch In

Written by TTYaYa on February 2, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 9 Comments on Quidditch Players Pitch In

Ginny Weasley, long time quidditch player for the HolyHead Harpies has announced that the quidditch club will be donating the brooms that they have been flying on this season to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where the schools brooms are notoriously noted as “the worst brooms ever made” to quote one student who was asked to rate them during one of the students recent excursions into Hogsmeade Village.

The school depends on its revenues from quidditch ticket sales, and merchandise bought during inter school championship games to replace the brooms that the school uses for all of their flying classes. But as commerce has seen a decline across the board in all areas, the school has had less and less funding available to purchase new brooms, or even pre-owned brooms.

While many students have their own brooms for their advance flying classes, and quidditch practices and games, there are still many students whose families rely on the brooms at the school. Several parents have submitted complaints for review to the school’s board of governors. Ginny Weasley sits on that board of directors with her husband, Harry Potter. Draco Malfoy is also on the board of governors and has pledged to match the value of the brooms that are donated to the school with a donation of his own.

While news of this story has already been in the rumor mill, many of the other clubs up and down the country have been looking for ways they can help the school’s flying and quidditch departments.The Wimborn Wasps have donated several sets of practice balls to the school, and The Chudley Cannons have stated that they will start to host a “Hogwarts Night” twice a season donating 15% of all ticket sales to the school.

If anyone else is interested in donating brooms, or funds to the school are encouraged to do so. Donations can be dropped off at any Quality Quidditch Supply locations, or sent directly to the school via owl post.

Prank War Still Raging at Hogwarts

Written by TTYaYa on February 1, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 5 Comments on Prank War Still Raging at Hogwarts

It seems the pranking is still in full swing as the school term continues, as this weekend hundreds of crickets were released inside of Hogwarts Castle. This is just the latest event in what seems to be an intrahouse prank war.

We previously reported that slinkies, a muggle toy that is basically a bendable spring that will walk down a flight of stairs on its own, were release throughout the castle. There was mass interruption that day when they were released as the slinkies in the stairwells disturbed the flow of students changing classes.

The current prank wasn’t as colorful or fun as the last. Instead this prank has lead to a multitude of issues. Crickets have been found hopping across tables in the dining hall, chirruping the in the stacks of the library keeping students from being able to concentrate during study sessions. Madam Pince has been seen chasing insects behind the main counter on several occasions.

Not only are these insects interrupting meal times and study sessions there was also an explosion in the potions classroom Monday morning when a cricket was placed in the cauldron of a 7th year Gryffindor who was taking advanced potion making. According to sources inside the school the dungeon that is the home of the potions classroom had to be evacuated and was uninhabitable for the remainder of the day as the acrid smell left from the explosion lingered.

School officials have been trying to determine the best course of action to eradicate the pests from the school, but so far nothing has been very effective. Madam Pomfrey, Hogwarts long time resident Nurse has voice several complaints about the crickets disturbing the rest of the students who are on her ward for magical care. “These students cannot properly heal without rest, and they cannot rest with all of the confounding noise these awful bugs make.”

But it isn’t just the sick and injured students not getting any rest, the crickets it seems has made it as far as Gryffindor Tower and have kept students up for several nights in a row. It seems as if our little pranksters ended up pranking themselves with the latest stunt.

New Flying Instructor Named

Written by TTYaYa on February 1, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. No Comments on New Flying Instructor Named

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry’s Headmistress Minerva McGonagall announced today that Rolanda Hooch, known to her students as Madam Hooch, has retired. She will be replaced by Hogwarts Alumni Oliver Wood.

Wood was named Quidditch Captain of the Gryffindor House in his fourth year and lead the team to championship victory in his seventh year. He completed his magical education at Hogwarts in 1994, and went on to be a part of Puddlemere United reserve team.

Several parents have already voiced concerns of a mid year faculty change, but Professor McGonagall stands by her decision to appoint Wood.

“I’ve known Mr. Wood for some time now, he was an excellent quidditch player, a determined captain and he will be an excellent flying instructor.”

We here at The Prophet remember when Harry Potter was selected to be a seeker for Gryffindor during his first year at Hogwarts, the youngest player to join a house team in a century. We agree with the Headmistress and think Wood will have those first years flying high in no time!

St. Mungo’s In Turmoil, Blood Moon to Blame

Written by TTYaYa on February 1, 2019. Posted in Magical Creatures, Matters of Magic. 5 Comments on St. Mungo’s In Turmoil, Blood Moon to Blame

The recently opened Remus Lupin Memorial Ward is undergoing major repairs. The recent “Blood Moon” lunar eclipse caused a surge in erratic behavior for werewolves, even those who take the wolfsbane potion. Wolfsbane potions is a calming agent for werewolves that allows them to transform into their wolf forms but it quiets the beast within them.

The Remus Lupin Memorial Ward was opened several months ago at St. Mungo’s as a safe and controlled location for Witches and Wizards infected with Lycanthropy to check into a secure room and be administered the Wolfsbane potion. When taken properly before the first cycle of the full moon the drinker will be able to transform and behave as calmly as Golden Retriever. Most of the patients who have made St. Mungo’s their home during the recent lunar cycles were observed as spending the majority of the lunar cycle asleep on the beds provided for their comfort.

But the lunar cycle that began with the Blood Wolf Moon, wasn’t anything like the previous lunar cycles the staff and caretakers of the ward had seen. Most of the wolves reacted in feral ways even after having taken the potion in a timely fashion. Several of the wolves were notated as restless and slightly aggressive but more than half of the wolves in the ward for the Lunar Eclipse reacted in a manner that can be categorized as nothing more than feral.

Thousands of galleons of damage has been reported by St. Mungo’s Management and Hospital Board of Directors. Magical builders have been working day and night since the patients were released to repair the damage caused to the ward. All of patients were contained during the lunar cycle, and it completed without incident thanks to the sturdiness of the facilities built by none other famed magical builder Dimitri Antonopoulos of Antonopoulos Builders.

St. Mungo’s Administrator Derya Ciplak stated earlier today outside of the hospital, “We are grateful for their hard work and craftsmanship, and want everyone to know that we will be fully operational before the next lunar cycle, to give aide to those in need.”

Charles Brown Donates to Hogwarts In Lavender Brown’s Memory

Written by TTYaYa on January 29, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 4 Comments on Charles Brown Donates to Hogwarts In Lavender Brown’s Memory

The Estate of Charles Brown, surviving father of Lavender Brown has made a substantial donation to the historical arts of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in his daughter’s name. Miss Brown was killed by infamous werewolf Fenrir Greyback at the Battle of Hogwarts during the conclusion of the second Wizarding War.

Mr. Brown has made donations in his daughter’s honor every year on the anniversary of the battle. According to the Schools financial reports, these donations are usually monetary, but this year Mr. Brown added part of his families art collection to the donation including over 50 paintings, 5 suits of armor, 2 tapestries, 3 statues and 10 busts of various notable names in magical advancement.

Mr. Brown is a long time employee with Gringott’s Bank in London, and stated that he and his wife were planning on taking advantage of his upcoming retirement to see the world.

“Traveling is something my family and I loved to do during the school holidays. Lavender always talked of seeing the world, and we have decided to honor her memory by doing just that.”

The Browns have planned themselves a very large excursion with stops in Egypt, Mongolia, Australia, America and Brazil among many others.

Among the paintings that were donated to Hogwarts included a large portrait of Lavender Brown, who was a member of Gryffindor House while she was a student there. The portrait shows a smiling and waving Lavender in a large wingback chair sporting a Gryffindor House sweater and scarf. Her blonde curls bouncing as she waves.

We spoke to Hogwarts Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall who was the Head of House for Gryffindor the 7 years that Lavender was a student there.

“Miss Brown was a very sweet young woman, who brought many smiles to friends that she loved unconditionally. I am honored that Mr. Brown included this particular portrait. It will hang in the common room of Gryffindor Tower for centuries to come.”

McGonagall stated that the other donations that Mr. Brown has made will be distributed throughout the castle and on the grounds for all to appreciate.

Teapots Found to Be Screaming at Muggles

Written by TTYaYa on January 28, 2019. Posted in Everything Muggles. 13 Comments on Teapots Found to Be Screaming at Muggles

Members of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office have been working nonstop lately to repair the damage left behind after several muggles have gotten a hold of what’s been described as “screaming teapots”.

The first report came to us from The south side of London, where a muggle called her local law enforcement (what they call policemen) and reported that her teapot yelled at her when it began to boil. A source inside the police department leaked a copy of the report to The Prophet. That report stated that the woman claims that the teapot screamed “WOMAN! I’m done!” Until she took the teapot off the stove. The muggle was later transported to a nearby hospital for evaluation accounting to the same report.

The head of the Misuse of Muggle artifacts office, Arthur Weasley, was seen leaving the scene of another reported teapot incident carrying a cage with a teapot inside of it that was barking and growling like a dog. He declined to comment at the scene.

We reached out to Mr. Weasley Since then and yielded better results. “I’m sure that this is a hilarious prank to whomever charmed these teapots but it has created a very large headache for my office,” he said in a letter delivered by owl earlier today.

So far according to a department source no less than 10 teapots have been recovered in the last month each one exhibiting different magical abilities. The worst of which was a family sized teapot that screams obscenities and maids vulgar comments when women are around.

Mr Weasley States in his letter that a full blown inquiry is underway and they will do “whatever it takes” to stop the person responsible.

Slytherin House Members Go Vegetarian

Written by TTYaYa on January 26, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 13 Comments on Slytherin House Members Go Vegetarian

Hogwarts has seen an uptake in mischief this school term, and it seems like the whole school is in on the action. None of the students have been caught in the act, until now. Slytherin house members were caught in the kitchens after an attempt to charm all of the food for the days dinner into desserts, candies and other various sweets failed in the most opposite way.

Slytherin House members gained access to the kitchen by the portrait that serves as the doorway. (We here at the prophet will not tell you which one young readers- to learn that secret, you’ve got to earn it. It is a Hogwarts right of passage afterall) When the young serpents entered the kitchens shortly before dinner, several of them made a diversion and distracted kitchen staff. The other Slytherin house members then attempted to change the food prepared for that nights meals into “treats of all descriptions.” One of the students was quoted in his disciplinary report as being immensely more disappointed that the charms failed than he was at the fact that they were caught, and apprehended by the schools caretaker, Mr. Filch.

Mr. Filch has been the long standing caretaker at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and is known for his favor towards harsh discipline, he was sorely disappointed when Headmistress McGonagall opted for a rather unorthodox punishment than the hours of detention by hard labor that he lobbied for.

The charm that they intended to transform their standard dinner options into more of a smorgasbord of treats did just the opposite instead, changing all of their dinner options into vegetables. Some cooked, some raw.

The Headmistress decided that the perfect punishment would be to leave the food as they were for dinner that evening, and has even gone so far as to declare that once a week, for the remainder of the term they will a “vegetarian style dinner”.

Slytherin House members who were not involved in the prank were appalled by this decision and several of them have gone so far as to start a petition to revoke this new menu plan. And they are not the only ones upset by this newly instated policy. A 5th year Ravenclaw member complained that she cannot keep up with her study schedule on just “bunny food”. “I signed that petition the first time I saw it” she told us in a short interview, “I have a very thorough study schedule, and I need energy to get through it, I simply can’t get the energy I need from a vegetarian diet.”

Hufflepuff House members in general seemed not to be as bothered by the new change, but one was very upset about the prank itself. “They couldn’t have chosen a worse night to pull such a ridiculous stunt. It was fried chicken night… what they did was inexcusable.” When this student was asked what made that night different from any other she was quoted as saying, “I had my heart set on fried chicken all day….and then I got to dinner and all we had were Brussel sprouts and salads. Not cool man, not cool.”

Not all students were upset with the new change however. Many were thrilled with the idea of a vegetarian night. “We’ve been asking for more vegetarian/vegan friendly options for years” 7th year Gryffindor said, “We have submitted multiple proposals and even offered to set up volunteers to work in the schools gardens to help with the increase of produce usage in the kitchens, but all of our efforts were denied. I’m not sure what made the Headmistress decide to put this plan into action now of all times, but we will definitely rally together and keep that petition from stopping them from happening.”

Slytherin House members suffered more than just the veggies that night, each student caught lost their house 20 points each, putting them dead last in the race for the House Cup. They may still have a chance to earn those points back, and bring Slytherin House back to glory, but they won’t have an easy time of it.

We here at The Prophet would like your take on this unique situation. Are you for or against your students having vegetarian nights at Hogwarts? Let us know where you stand!

Commerce in Hogwarts Down Governors Bewildered

Written by TTYaYa on January 24, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. No Comments on Commerce in Hogwarts Down Governors Bewildered

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizard reports a surprising decrease in the number of sales from their on-campus store.

Young witches and wizards alike have been purchasing they house apparel from the school store for generations. But over the course of this school term, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall reports an alarming decline in sales. The school’s Board of Governors were very concerned about this hit button issue from the agenda of last week’s meeting.

Funding from the school store goes towards several funds needed to keep the school functioning normally, and without that funding, many students may see some of their favorite activities suspended, or even disbanded indefinitely.

The Governors have opened their own investigation into this issue and have made it a priority to find a resolution as quickly as possible.

The School Governors have as of this morning received a report on an independent investigation performed by the staff here at the Prophet which sites the main cause of the declining sales.

Many of the students and family members are buying their apparel from different vendors, many of which have seemingly popped up overnight. The merchandise being sold by the vendors are almost identical to the official Hogwarts merchandise sold on Hogwarts grounds and far more inexpensive.

We have purchased our fair share of items from multiple vendors and have found minor inconsistencies with the products when compared to the products being sold at Hogwarts. The discrepancies are almost invisible to the naked eye, most of which being a vague difference in the shape of the fonts, the size lettering on the emblems of the houses. For example; the official Slytherin house crest has a silver serpent, where an item purchased in Hogsmeade bears a gray serpent. And the official Ravenclaw crest is an eagle, but the pennant purchase in Diagon alley bears a hawk.

Further investigation proves that not all of the vendors selling these items have the proper licenses to do so.

We would like to issue caution to anyone making purchases of Hogwarts apparel that it is not deemed official merchandise, and you could face fines for their purchase.

Sweet Shoppe in Diagon Alley Pops Up Over Night

Written by TTYaYa on January 18, 2019. Posted in Diagon Alley, Magical Places. 1 Comment on Sweet Shoppe in Diagon Alley Pops Up Over Night

Diagon Alley Gets New Sweet Shoppe

Eileen Sugarbaker of Mould on the Wold is the proud new owner of a new candy shop located in Diagon Alley named the Sugar Shack. The Sugar Shack’s day to day operations will be run by her sons, Liam and Michael and can be found across the alley from Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezies .

“I have always wanted to own my own candy store, since I was a little girl” Eileen stated in an interview, “Since retiring from the Ministry I have wanted to start my own business and what better way to do so then helping put smiles on the faces of little ones!”

The Sugarbaker family will be celebrating their Grand Opening this weekend and invite everyone to attend. All purchases during the grand opening will receive a free candy sample and a 10% discount.

Regular hours of operation will be as follows:

Mon-Fri 10am-8pm
Saturday 10am-10pm
Sunday 1pm-6pm