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Muggle at the Ministry…Delightful Chaos?


Delightful chaos: that’s how Minister Hermione Granger describes the responsibilities of the Ministry’s department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.

From a kelpie, who was mistakenly labeled the Loch Ness monster of Ireland in 1933, to the “sleeping pattern adjustment” of thousands of owls as news spread of Voldemort’s defeat, and even through multiple sightings of Yeti’s in Tibet, the last century alone has been a wild ride for the world’s magical concealment officials.

The Daily Prophet holds the stance that chaotic is an apt description of the department–not delightful!

Since the creation of the International Statute of Secrecy in the late 1600s, there have been millions of incidents where muggles found themselves confounded by their interactions with magic.
In fact, here at the Ministry, much of our work is dedicated to the concealment and protection of muggles from magic. 

Each section is vital in ensuring a positive relation to muggles and helps create a balance between our two drastically different, but often converging, worlds. However, in the centuries the Ministry has resided beneath Whitehall in London, no muggle has ever haphazardly entered the confines of its headquarters.

That is, until yesterday….

It was just as unfortunate as it was shocking for the breach to occur yesterday evening, as last night was only the third night Jackel Livingspree was on duty as the new Security Guard in the aviary. For such a young bloke, at such an early point in his position, he didn’t know how to handle what ensued.

In an interview with young Livingspree late yesterday evening, who was more than happy to discuss with The Prophet the transgressions, seemed pensive and suspiciously defensive in his recollection of what occurred.

“He [the muggle] didn’t look so different…not really. You see wizards in muggle wear all the time—coming and going where muggles are present. Especially if they’re coming from the entrances off muggle streets.”

Livingspree paused as if trying to remember. After wiping his sweaty hands on his maroon cloak he continued,

“I only noticed him cause he stumbled out of the chimney on his hands and knees. But, he just got up and brushed himself off. Then he rushed to get out of the way of the witch who arrived after him, nearly knocking him over again. I didn’t question it really, as he came by floo powder afterall. I mean I really never heard of a muggle using the floo network after all! 

But I did see him looking ‘round—checking everything out, mostly curious and shocked at the same time. But, o’er the last couple of days I’ve seen wizards lookin’ around just like that cause they were new to HQ. 

But, then he started hitting himself. Kind of softly at first and after a’ bit more time, very avidly – then a few Goblins entered and thats when it got real crazy. He started whispering it like he was panicking. Then he started screaming it louder and louder. And all he ever kept saying was, ‘It’s not real. It’s not real! Wake up!”

According to Livingspree, by this time everyone in the aviary’s attention was on the middle-aged muggle. His screaming was echoing off the stone, and onlookers seemed either confused, worried, or irritated, and above all else, curious regarding his obsession with inflicting himself with slap after slap and hit after hit. 

A middle-aged witch by the name of Mrs. Hilary Pot described the muggle’s reaction to the Goblins with three words – “He. Was. Terrified.”

Another young wizard who asked to go unnamed revealed his own thoughts on the matter,

“I’ve never seen anyone but my young brother scream like that, and it was because he suffered from night terrors. It was like the goblins were his living, breathing nightmare. It gives me chills thinking about that muggle’s terror.”

Needless to say, this muggle did not take too kindly to the discovery of the magical world and it’s accompanying creatures.

Thankfully, some officials from the Muggle Liaison office were preparing to leave and had just arrived when the scene had unfolded.

 A few witches and wizards helped them move the muggle to where we can only suspect is the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.

At this time, besides Minister Granger’s comment about delightful chaos, she has refrained from discussing any further information. However, she did ensure TheDaily Prophet that further details would be released promptly, once the investigation has more concrete findings.

For now, this incident has left The world of magic with one vital question:

Why was a muggle’s chimney connected to the floo network and was it by accident or intentional?

This has been a late breaking story with journalist Eloise Phoenix, reminding you to preform your quarterly chimney charms to sort out any substandard connections in the floo network.

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