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Muggle at the Ministry: Muggle-Born Mate Goes Rogue

Official —- was given a mystery: how did a muggle get connected to the floo network and what caused this bloke’s hysteric breakdown at the ministry of magic? Today, we have answers.

Three days ago we reported on an incident where a muggle arrived by floo powder at the Ministry of Magic Headquarters. At the sight of a few goblins, the muggle broke down in hysteric screaming telling himself “it’s not there, it’s not there.” After the events unfolded, officials in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes attempted to discover how the muggle arrived at the Ministry in the first place. Using lagilimancy, they were able to discover that the muggle had been visiting a mate’s house in Kent. His mate, a Mr. Henry Jiggens, is the father of muggle-born Lucy Jiggens who will be beginning her second year at Hogwarts this fall. They requested the muggles name remain anonymous.

When officials visited Mr. Jiggens, they discovered the entire family distraught. That evening they had a few of their mates over for a barbeque. While everyone was outside, the muggle—the one who arrived at the ministry last week—went inside to go to the loo. After a while, Mr. Jiggens noticed his mates’ absence.

He discovered the note where their family had written instruction on how to use the flue network (including names of important destinations such as the Ministry of Magic Headquarters and Diagon Alley) on the floor of their sitting room. Then to his dismay, their jar of flue powder open beside the fireplace. It seemed the bloke had gone rogue. And they didn’t know where!

They were utterly gobsmacked and completely bewildered at what to do. In their panic, young Lucy Jiggens resorted to her best resource: Professor Neville Longbottom. She quickly wrote a letter describing the circumstances to Hogwarts’ headmaster hoping he would tell her what to do (this was confirmed by the headmaster himself.)

Officials were still befuddled by the muggles hysteric reaction to the goblins. In other circumstances, muggles have had much milder reactions to discovering The world of magic. Mr. Jiggens explained that his mate suffered from a mild form of what muggles refer to as late-onset schizophrenia. The muggle had suffered from hallucinations that muggle versions of our healers treated. Apparently, the muggle treatment had been effective (sometimes they surprise us), because the muggle hadn’t seen a hallucination for quite some time. So, when he saw the goblin, he was trying to convince himself that they were not real. He thought he was hallucinating and entire place (Ministry HQ) and the blokes and goblin he was envisioning. He thought he was going crazy again. Hence the hysteric screaming.

After discussing the issue with Mr. Jiggens, officials explained that healers may be able to heal the muggle of his muggle-named schizophrenia. So, they brought the muggle to St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries where he is currently being treated.

Once the healers are finished, obliviators will erase the muggle’s memory of his experience of The world of magic and he will go on in his magicless ignorance. However, we must say, while this experience was a bit of a scare for the muggle, the Jiggens, and those at the ministry during the incident, we think this accident will leave the muggle better off than before. It’s not every day a rouge muggle gets magic aid.

Schieler, do you have suggestions for a stronger ending? This is part two of a series of articles.

– Eloise Phoenix

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