Month: January 2019

Charles Brown Donates to Hogwarts In Lavender Brown’s Memory

Written by TTYaYa on January 29, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 4 Comments on Charles Brown Donates to Hogwarts In Lavender Brown’s Memory

The Estate of Charles Brown, surviving father of Lavender Brown has made a substantial donation to the historical arts of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in his daughter’s name. Miss Brown was killed by infamous werewolf Fenrir Greyback at the Battle of Hogwarts during the conclusion of the second Wizarding War.

Mr. Brown has made donations in his daughter’s honor every year on the anniversary of the battle. According to the Schools financial reports, these donations are usually monetary, but this year Mr. Brown added part of his families art collection to the donation including over 50 paintings, 5 suits of armor, 2 tapestries, 3 statues and 10 busts of various notable names in magical advancement.

Mr. Brown is a long time employee with Gringott’s Bank in London, and stated that he and his wife were planning on taking advantage of his upcoming retirement to see the world.

“Traveling is something my family and I loved to do during the school holidays. Lavender always talked of seeing the world, and we have decided to honor her memory by doing just that.”

The Browns have planned themselves a very large excursion with stops in Egypt, Mongolia, Australia, America and Brazil among many others.

Among the paintings that were donated to Hogwarts included a large portrait of Lavender Brown, who was a member of Gryffindor House while she was a student there. The portrait shows a smiling and waving Lavender in a large wingback chair sporting a Gryffindor House sweater and scarf. Her blonde curls bouncing as she waves.

We spoke to Hogwarts Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall who was the Head of House for Gryffindor the 7 years that Lavender was a student there.

“Miss Brown was a very sweet young woman, who brought many smiles to friends that she loved unconditionally. I am honored that Mr. Brown included this particular portrait. It will hang in the common room of Gryffindor Tower for centuries to come.”

McGonagall stated that the other donations that Mr. Brown has made will be distributed throughout the castle and on the grounds for all to appreciate.

Teapots Found to Be Screaming at Muggles

Written by TTYaYa on January 28, 2019. Posted in Everything Muggles. 13 Comments on Teapots Found to Be Screaming at Muggles

Members of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office have been working nonstop lately to repair the damage left behind after several muggles have gotten a hold of what’s been described as “screaming teapots”.

The first report came to us from The south side of London, where a muggle called her local law enforcement (what they call policemen) and reported that her teapot yelled at her when it began to boil. A source inside the police department leaked a copy of the report to The Prophet. That report stated that the woman claims that the teapot screamed “WOMAN! I’m done!” Until she took the teapot off the stove. The muggle was later transported to a nearby hospital for evaluation accounting to the same report.

The head of the Misuse of Muggle artifacts office, Arthur Weasley, was seen leaving the scene of another reported teapot incident carrying a cage with a teapot inside of it that was barking and growling like a dog. He declined to comment at the scene.

We reached out to Mr. Weasley Since then and yielded better results. “I’m sure that this is a hilarious prank to whomever charmed these teapots but it has created a very large headache for my office,” he said in a letter delivered by owl earlier today.

So far according to a department source no less than 10 teapots have been recovered in the last month each one exhibiting different magical abilities. The worst of which was a family sized teapot that screams obscenities and maids vulgar comments when women are around.

Mr Weasley States in his letter that a full blown inquiry is underway and they will do “whatever it takes” to stop the person responsible.

Slytherin House Members Go Vegetarian

Written by TTYaYa on January 26, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 13 Comments on Slytherin House Members Go Vegetarian

Hogwarts has seen an uptake in mischief this school term, and it seems like the whole school is in on the action. None of the students have been caught in the act, until now. Slytherin house members were caught in the kitchens after an attempt to charm all of the food for the days dinner into desserts, candies and other various sweets failed in the most opposite way.

Slytherin House members gained access to the kitchen by the portrait that serves as the doorway. (We here at the prophet will not tell you which one young readers- to learn that secret, you’ve got to earn it. It is a Hogwarts right of passage afterall) When the young serpents entered the kitchens shortly before dinner, several of them made a diversion and distracted kitchen staff. The other Slytherin house members then attempted to change the food prepared for that nights meals into “treats of all descriptions.” One of the students was quoted in his disciplinary report as being immensely more disappointed that the charms failed than he was at the fact that they were caught, and apprehended by the schools caretaker, Mr. Filch.

Mr. Filch has been the long standing caretaker at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and is known for his favor towards harsh discipline, he was sorely disappointed when Headmistress McGonagall opted for a rather unorthodox punishment than the hours of detention by hard labor that he lobbied for.

The charm that they intended to transform their standard dinner options into more of a smorgasbord of treats did just the opposite instead, changing all of their dinner options into vegetables. Some cooked, some raw.

The Headmistress decided that the perfect punishment would be to leave the food as they were for dinner that evening, and has even gone so far as to declare that once a week, for the remainder of the term they will a “vegetarian style dinner”.

Slytherin House members who were not involved in the prank were appalled by this decision and several of them have gone so far as to start a petition to revoke this new menu plan. And they are not the only ones upset by this newly instated policy. A 5th year Ravenclaw member complained that she cannot keep up with her study schedule on just “bunny food”. “I signed that petition the first time I saw it” she told us in a short interview, “I have a very thorough study schedule, and I need energy to get through it, I simply can’t get the energy I need from a vegetarian diet.”

Hufflepuff House members in general seemed not to be as bothered by the new change, but one was very upset about the prank itself. “They couldn’t have chosen a worse night to pull such a ridiculous stunt. It was fried chicken night… what they did was inexcusable.” When this student was asked what made that night different from any other she was quoted as saying, “I had my heart set on fried chicken all day….and then I got to dinner and all we had were Brussel sprouts and salads. Not cool man, not cool.”

Not all students were upset with the new change however. Many were thrilled with the idea of a vegetarian night. “We’ve been asking for more vegetarian/vegan friendly options for years” 7th year Gryffindor said, “We have submitted multiple proposals and even offered to set up volunteers to work in the schools gardens to help with the increase of produce usage in the kitchens, but all of our efforts were denied. I’m not sure what made the Headmistress decide to put this plan into action now of all times, but we will definitely rally together and keep that petition from stopping them from happening.”

Slytherin House members suffered more than just the veggies that night, each student caught lost their house 20 points each, putting them dead last in the race for the House Cup. They may still have a chance to earn those points back, and bring Slytherin House back to glory, but they won’t have an easy time of it.

We here at The Prophet would like your take on this unique situation. Are you for or against your students having vegetarian nights at Hogwarts? Let us know where you stand!

Commerce in Hogwarts Down Governors Bewildered

Written by TTYaYa on January 24, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. No Comments on Commerce in Hogwarts Down Governors Bewildered

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizard reports a surprising decrease in the number of sales from their on-campus store.

Young witches and wizards alike have been purchasing they house apparel from the school store for generations. But over the course of this school term, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall reports an alarming decline in sales. The school’s Board of Governors were very concerned about this hit button issue from the agenda of last week’s meeting.

Funding from the school store goes towards several funds needed to keep the school functioning normally, and without that funding, many students may see some of their favorite activities suspended, or even disbanded indefinitely.

The Governors have opened their own investigation into this issue and have made it a priority to find a resolution as quickly as possible.

The School Governors have as of this morning received a report on an independent investigation performed by the staff here at the Prophet which sites the main cause of the declining sales.

Many of the students and family members are buying their apparel from different vendors, many of which have seemingly popped up overnight. The merchandise being sold by the vendors are almost identical to the official Hogwarts merchandise sold on Hogwarts grounds and far more inexpensive.

We have purchased our fair share of items from multiple vendors and have found minor inconsistencies with the products when compared to the products being sold at Hogwarts. The discrepancies are almost invisible to the naked eye, most of which being a vague difference in the shape of the fonts, the size lettering on the emblems of the houses. For example; the official Slytherin house crest has a silver serpent, where an item purchased in Hogsmeade bears a gray serpent. And the official Ravenclaw crest is an eagle, but the pennant purchase in Diagon alley bears a hawk.

Further investigation proves that not all of the vendors selling these items have the proper licenses to do so.

We would like to issue caution to anyone making purchases of Hogwarts apparel that it is not deemed official merchandise, and you could face fines for their purchase.

Sweet Shoppe in Diagon Alley Pops Up Over Night

Written by TTYaYa on January 18, 2019. Posted in Diagon Alley, Magical Places. 1 Comment on Sweet Shoppe in Diagon Alley Pops Up Over Night

Diagon Alley Gets New Sweet Shoppe

Eileen Sugarbaker of Mould on the Wold is the proud new owner of a new candy shop located in Diagon Alley named the Sugar Shack. The Sugar Shack’s day to day operations will be run by her sons, Liam and Michael and can be found across the alley from Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezies .

“I have always wanted to own my own candy store, since I was a little girl” Eileen stated in an interview, “Since retiring from the Ministry I have wanted to start my own business and what better way to do so then helping put smiles on the faces of little ones!”

The Sugarbaker family will be celebrating their Grand Opening this weekend and invite everyone to attend. All purchases during the grand opening will receive a free candy sample and a 10% discount.

Regular hours of operation will be as follows:

Mon-Fri 10am-8pm
Saturday 10am-10pm
Sunday 1pm-6pm

Ministy of Magic Announces Hogwarts Internships

Written by TTYaYa on January 18, 2019. Posted in Magical News, Ministry of Magic Affairs. 4 Comments on Ministy of Magic Announces Hogwarts Internships

The Ministry of Magic announced today that it will be launching new internship programs for upcoming seventh year students and recent graduates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Internships for graduates will be a term of 1 year, internships for students still in school will last the duration of the summer for what has been classified as a “mini-internship” by ministry officials.

Each internship will have its own requirements and application process, promising a fun environment to learn and grow.

Upcoming seventh years, and recent grads will have the opportunity to submit applications for these programs as of February 1st, deadline for applications is Easter.

Programs will available in the following areas:

Magical Law Enforcement Dept
Retail Management
Charms Development
Dragon Handler
International Banking
St. Mungo’s Junior Healers
Hospitality Management
Advertising
Sports & Gaming Dept
Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Dept
Transportation Dept
Post Owl Training Dept
Herbology Cultivation

Detailed information will be provided for each internship as it becomes available. We are told the specifics will be made available on the first of February.

Ministry aide Mary Matthews was quoted at the announcement luncheon saying

“These programs are a wonderful way to get your feet wet in the magical career you’ve always wanted! I’m very excited to see how many applicants are ready to further their magical education!”

Toy Manifestation at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Written by TTYaYa on January 14, 2019. Posted in Hogwarts, Magical Places. 9 Comments on Toy Manifestation at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

There was a delightful disruption today at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry when hundreds of toys were released all over the castle at the same time. The toys were colored in Hogwarts house colors, at this time we are not sure if this is a coincidence or part of the prank.

This playful plot was orchestrated perfectly during class exchange and clogged up the corridors causing the blockage of students paths.

The toys that were released are a muggle toy known as a slinky. They seem to nothing special when you look at them however when placed at the top of a staircase and tipped over, the toy seems to come alive and bound all the way down the stairs. It truly is a sight to behold.

Staff at Hogwarts have no idea how so many slinkies were brought into the school, or how many students were involved in today’s hi-jinks but the items have been added to the ever growing list of banned products that Hogwarts restricts in its hallways. All of the toys were gathered up by staff and stored in the dungeons with so many of the other confiscated items.

Parents are warned not to send any of these toys into Hogwarts via care packages, as they will likely be confiscated and your child punished.

Time Turner Bandit Caught

Written by TTYaYa on January 13, 2019. Posted in Good News, Magical News. 4 Comments on Time Turner Bandit Caught

Time Turners are indeed incredibly powerful artifacts and the Time Turner in question was made by an unauthorized Wizard who is currently being held on criminal charges. The original intent of its creation is not known at this time, as information and access to the maker has been restricted to anyone but Ministry Officials. The Auror Office has declined to comment further on the maker or his upcoming trial.

But the magical community can rest easily knowing that the bandit has been caught. Details are sparse at this time, but there are speculations that the thief had been caught after being splinched while attempting to use the time turner. It however was not evident as to what period of time they were attempting to visit.

“In early November the Ministry of Magic reported that an illegally made Time Turner had been stolen from the Department of Mysteries. Today we are pleased to announce that the perpetrator has been caught and is being detained in Azkaban Prison.” Reads a release from the Auror Office earlier today. “The thief was apprehended outside of the Barnton early this morning”

Anyone with any further details on this criminal act are asked to contact the Auror Office directly by owl.